Drug Court

My intention is to flow freely. 

To not let the phone call, earlier today 

continue to traipse through my mind, 

prowl into crevices 

seeking stories with outcomes 

to worry about or covet. 

You see, that is the challenge I seek. 

You see, when you believe 

you are an advocate 

it is hard to redefine your duties. 

You feel you must come forth. 

Of course that was easy 

when the phone call was about homework 

left at home and of course you were willing 

to drop everything, cancel your lunch date 

and drive it up to school, 

imagining the look on your child’s face.

You, Mom, came through. 

Thank you, Mom, you saved the day. 

The last thing 

you wanted 

was for your child to suffer consequences 

which could have been avoided. 

So of course when the woman 

from the drug court called this morning 

all you could say was they’re not at this number. 

Part of you was happy they called. 

You assumed they had reached out, 

was asking for help. The ultimate gesture 

only the addict can do to stop the cycle. 

And then, when the woman from the drug court 

asked you to give a message,

you realized you could not. 

The woman from the drug court said,  

OK, and hung up, unaffected.

Click. 

And you realized

They had not reached out. 

had not asked for help. 

Nothing had changed.